where are you?
While the idea of a retreat or a holiday might sound just the ticket to find peace, relaxation and joy, is that guaranteed? Or is it possible to access that anywhere?
At the time of writing this I am about to embark on a short break in Morocco with my girlfriends. I'm looking forward to spending some dedicated time connecting with good friends, making new memories together, experiencing new places and different cultures and taking some time to read, sketch and swim.
I know some who pine for a break or a holiday as a way to relax and unwind. I also know some who no matter where they go cannot relax and unwind. Because relaxation and peace is not a matter of geography. It's a matter of attention.
I've worked with clients who can be on beach in Barbados surrounded by white sands, azure seas and Mai Tais, but their mind will still be at the office. They may have worked like a slave to the point of burnout in order to be able to afford this holiday and yet when they get there, they still cannot find peace or joy.
This week I had my first session with a new 1-2-1 client embarking on my 8 Week Introduction to Mindfulness Course. We began by defining the core elements of mindfulness (Intention, Attention and Attitude) and I introduced him to and guided him through his first meditation practice. As always, we spent some time reflecting on his experience. He observed that it was a pleasant and enjoyable experience. Then asked:
"Why are we doing this?"
It was a great question. Why *do* we sit in meditation for minutes at a time, noticing the mind wandering and bringing our attention back to heel, over and over again? What's the point?
The point is not to be better at meditation, or even to have a quiet mind. It's to build the muscle of attention so that in our everyday lives, we can focus it on what is important to us right now in the present moment - be that work, connecting with loved ones, play or relaxation.
Our minds are wherever our attention is
The mind has an independent quality. While we can harness it at will to tackle problems and come up with creative ideas, when left undirected it will wander - often to places that don't serve us well in the present moment. Which is why it is possible to be physically in paradise yet mentally and emotionally in hell. Conversely then, it is also possible to be physically in hell (be that because of pain or illness, or chaotic circumstances), yet mentally and emotionally in a state of peace and even joyfulness.
No need to work yourself into an early grave to pay for holidays you can't enjoy, when you can experience peace, contentment and joy right where you are. And if you do manage to go on an adventure - however modest - you can notice, appreciate and enjoy every sight, sound, smell, taste, touch and experience. Fully.
Being able to sustain our attention on our present moment experiences - with curiosity and non-judgement - brings with it a richness and level of wonder to life that cannot be experienced when we're stuck on autopilot, rushing through our days with our minds a million miles away from where we are.
So whether this week brings you adventures new or more of the same, my invitation is to regularly check where your attention is. To bring your mind back to where you are. Right here. Now. This. In the present moment.
What do you notice when you do?