momento mori
Do you wake up in the morning thinking: "This is it?"or "This is it!" Or as that great philosopher Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson asked: "Is it One Day or Day One?"
My heart has been heavy this week with the news of the death of four University of Essex Students on the weekend. The young people involved were familiar faces, being team mates of our son's basketball coach and players and dancers that we have cheered and supported at matches on a regular basis.
While the sun shone in all it's glory on Sunday, my thoughts constantly drifted to the families whose lives had just fallen apart. To my sons coach struggling to comprehend the sudden loss of his friends. And to those vital young people just at at start of their lives who would never see the sun shine in the bright blue sky again.
The Greek Stoic philosophers meditated regularly on the phrase: Momento Mori Remember you must die. This was not meant to be a morbid and depressing reminder of our ever-looming mortality, but a clarion call to celebrate and honour the miracle that is Today. Every day we get to wake up and do this thing called Life is a blessing. Even with all it's challenges, pain and suffering. Where there's Life there's hope. There's joy. There's beauty. We just need to remember to look for it. Even amidst the pain.
Tomorrow isn’t promised
Mindfulness helps us cultivate gratitude for the present moment. For the miracle that is today. It helps us to remember our intention: what is the most important thing right now? What is in service to Life? It helps us to remember the preciousness of Life, its fragility and wonder - as something not to be squandered and wasted. Tomorrow isn't promised. We only have today.
I used to be someone who set goals. Who subscribed to the idea that we are the authors of our lives. And to some degree I still believe that. The trouble is, with this belief it's easy to feel are in full control of how our story unfolds and ends. We feel that we are writing every chapter. We cling tightly to the version of the story we wrote. But then Life throws us a curved ball or an unexpected plot twist and we're outraged! This is not how it was supposed to go!
We get to choose
These days, I feel its a bit more like those branching narrative books you used to read as a kid. Do you remember those? Where at the end of each chapter you made a choice - which plot line did you fancy pursuing? We are not in full control of the story, but every day, we get to choose how our narrative unfolds today.
To me, that feels more exciting than reading a book I've already written. What a page turner! I have absolutely no idea how my story ends, or what adventures await in the next chapter. I simply choose in which direction I want to go today. I use my values and intentions to guide me to which choices align with the kind of person I want to show up as and how I want to live, today. The only one we ever have to work with.
Non-Attachment and Non-Striving
This fits with the attitudes of Non-Attachment and Non-Striving - two of the trickiest attitudes of mindfulness to grasp. It allows us to be flexible to the inevitable uncertainty of Life. We can still make plans and have dreams. But we accept that Life might have a different plan for us, and be open to the possibility that perhaps it's an even greater adventure than we could ever imagine.
Going back to my opening question then, Life is too short and too precious to wake up each day and wonder "This is it?" If that's where you are, perhaps it's time to take stock.
Momento Mori.
We don’t have to wait for a tragedy to remind us of this. We can remember every day. Every moment.
As Mary Oliver wrote in her beautiful poem A Summers Day…
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"