why I no longer charge set fees
Ever since I began offering my services to the public I really struggled to put a price on my courses or time. It always made me feel deeply uncomfortable. Yes, it is social and business convention in our modern, “developed” economy, and of course, we’ve all got bills to pay and have to make a living somehow.
There are “going rates” (which vary wildly!) to use as benchmarks which I did for a while. But I couldn’t really articulate why it still didn’t feel right, until I discovered the work of Charles Eisenstein who is a passionate advocate of returning to a more “Gift-based” economy (the way communities used to operate thousands of years ago and the way many indigenous communities still do). His writings have helped me to clarify and articulate this long-felt discomfort about prices and charging. In this post I try to share some of my rationale behind offering my services on a voluntary donation basis.
Cultivating connection and trust
The current global financial system we have created and try to operate within is essentially a game of musical chairs. Without turning this into an essay on economics, it is a system based on interest bearing debt. The more money you have, the more you benefit. The less you have, the harder you get hit. We can see how this works when interest rates rise. Those with savings and investments rejoice and those with debt despair as they are pushed deeper into it. In this game of musical chairs there is a sense of scarcity because there’s never enough chairs for people (there could be enough chairs, but our financial system only works by withholding some). This puts us in competition with each other - a fight for scare resources. It’s a mindset of “More for you means less for me.”
Our modern culture has also lauded the idea of independence. When we are independent of each other we are also in competition. The truth of our reality is that we are deeply interdependent on each other as humans and on the Earth and all its other creatures and abundance. The Buddhist monk, activist, teacher and author Thich Nhat Hanh, termed this Interbeing. In ancient communities before the invention of our modern financial system, people supported each other through mutual gift giving, help and support. My neighbour might help me repair my roof after a storm, and I might want to show my gratitude by sharing the abundance of my garden or kitchen. We relied on our community to support us and felt a reciprocal urge to give in return. It is the glue that held us together. From that standpoint “more for you means more for all of us.” Unlike money (which can be lost through theft or the volatility of the financial markets), this provides a deep sense of security that cannot be taken away.
We can see this principle at work in Nature. A tree for example, takes what it needs (carbon dioxide, sunlight, water and minerals from the soil) and gives of its gifts generously to all without exception. It provides food, shelter, habitat, shade, beauty, oxygen, fuel and materials to any creature that wants to take them. The tree knows that by giving generously, everything (and therefore itself) will benefit. Some of its nuts or fruits taken by creatures will grow into new trees. The creatures it supports exhale the carbon dioxide it needs to take in. Their manure will provide more nourishment for the soil and so on. As humans, we too used to operate on this basis, and in same rare and precious pockets of the world, still do.
I’m a huge believer in Ghandi’s quote: “Be the change you want to see in the world.”
It takes a great deal of trust in Life and the world to believe that by giving generously without expectation of return, we will receive enough to meet our own needs. That is a huge leap of faith. But that’s the kind of world I want to live in. Therefore I am taking that leap of faith and trusting that as I live in service to the world, in the end I will have enough to meet my needs. And money is not one of our real needs, it is a poor proxy. After our basic survival needs such as food and shelter have been met, other universal human needs include security, joy, love, creativity, play, rest, purpose, autonomy and respect to name but a few. We think money will help us acquire these things but it cannot. If it could, there would be no miserable millionaires. And there are many. I’ve worked with some.
Another of Ghandi’s quotes that I love is: “The world has enough for everyone’s need, but not for everyone’s greed.” And greed by the way, is just a symptom of unmet needs. It’s a result of that sense of scarcity. Remember the toilet roll and pasta hoarding over the Covid pandemic?
When we can get our needs truly met and feel a sense of security and abundance, there is no greed.
These gifts are not all mine
I am always deeply aware that what I offer - the knowledge, practices, tools and information are not fully mine. I did not create or invent any of them. Many are thousands of years old, passed down by countless people across the ages. Perhaps the mix of of knowledge, practices, tools and approaches is unique to me, and of course the time, energy and years of experience that I have put into curating them and delivering my services is mine. But it would be fraudulent to claim them as my own unique creation. The Intellectual Property Rights are not truly mine.
Once upon a time, all these things were part of our Cultural Commons - available to all and shared in the spirit of gift. But we currently live in an age where we have converted our commons (natural, social, cultural and spiritual capital) into money.
My life is a gift to me (I did not earn it), the abundance of Nature and the Earth is a gift to all of us and the wisdom of many others is a gift. Gifts need to be circulated, not hoarded. I would like to pass on the gifts I have to offer in the spirit of gratitude, paying it forward so others may benefit as I have done.
Equitable access
In my lifetime living costs have continually spiralled for everyone and financial inequality has got progressively worse not better. Even the most essential things in life such as a warm and comfortable home and nutritious food is becoming ever-more unaffordable. What about our needs beyond mere physical survival? These now seem to be a luxury only the rich can afford. Surely we have to come up with a more creative way of meeting needs than that which our current financial system can currently provide?
Since my offerings are not fully mine, but are in service to and of benefit to everyone, why should they only be available to those above a certain income bracket? I want to be able to pass on these gifts to whoever is in need of them, regardless of their financial status or means. Those that have very little may only have the capacity to express their gratitude very modestly and perhaps not even with money but with a different kind of gift. Those that have much greater financial means may feel able to give more. Thereby together we create a more supportive, egalitarian community where those that have more support those that have less, but everyone benefits.
The value is not mine to decide
I have been told by some supporters that I “undervalue” myself or have no idea of my value. What they are trying to say is I could charge a lot more money than I have done. I could. Others certainly do. But contrary to undervaluing myself, I am fully aware that my time, my energy and my gifts are priceless (as are all our time, energy and gifts). They are beyond slapping an arbitrary price tag on them. The value they offer though, is not mine to gauge.
Whenever I enter a coaching relationship or begin delivering a workshop or course, I always approach it in the knowledge that I cannot know what each individual will get out of it. Everyone takes away from it what they need and what they are ready to receive and that will be different for each individual. I know that while I might deliver the same content, some of my clients have described their experience as transformational or life changing, and others have simply found it enjoyable or interesting. Both outcomes are okay and welcome. To set the expectation of what the outcomes will be for every individual is an impossibility. Therefore how can I place a value on the course beyond perhaps covering my own costs and expenses? I want my clients to feel able to express their gratitude for my time, efforts and offerings in a way that feels fair, right and aligned with their perceived benefit and financial means.
No one can serve two masters
In my early days of being self-employed, I found that when I paid more attention to the numbers (be that reaching more people or gaining more subscribers or clients - all in service ultimately to converting that into income), not only did it feel horrible, it never seemed to work out. When I work in service to the things I hold most dear (supporting people and planet) and trust that everything will work out, it feels right. There is always enough.
When I work in service to money, approval, kudos or being proved right, not only does it feel “off” it never seems to be successful (and I don’t define success as money in the bank, the size of my house or the brand of my car).
I always ask myself: if no one could afford my services and I had absolutely no clients, would I still serve? Would I still share my gifts? And the answer is yes, because it is needed, it is important and I feel it is my purpose. I am in service to supporting people and planet, not to making money (beyond what I need to cover my living costs).
Monetising relationships
We have now monetised what used to be just normal human relationships (child and eldercare, the teaching of life skills, support and advice for example) and have lost our sense of community in turn. This is a huge cause of the decline in our wellbeing. In the name of money we have parcelled up, claimed ownership of and slapped a price on almost everything we can imagine from our human relationships, to our creative self-expression and Nature’s resources that are a gift from the earth.
This is how my discomfort around charging set fees first became apparent to me. Many of my early supporters were my friends and family. While they willingly paid me, it still felt horribly wrong to charge them for spending time with me. I knew at that point it was necessary to find another way for them to express their thanks for however I supported them in a way that didn’t make it feel like a cold business transaction. It took me a number of years to fully understand why and to determine how I was going to do that. This is where I am at now.
Donations are invited
All that being said, how then do I serve the world and share my gifts in a way that feels fair, comfortable and right?
By inviting my clients to express their gratitude for my services in a way that feels fair, comfortable and right for them based on the value they feel they have received and their financial means. They cannot know what the value is until after my service has been provided.
In the spirit of transparency, I have bills to pay and living costs to meet just like everyone else in our modern world. I have a part-time salaried job that helps to cover our family’s living costs. But my motivation is not to earn ever more money. If I have more by the grace of others, this allows me to absorb the cost of providing my services to those that are under greater financial or emotional pressures. We thereby support each other to ensure that everyone receives the benefit of the knowledge, practices, tools and wisdom that I pass on.
Inevitably, there will be some who will donate little or nothing at all (either through genuine lack of financial means or a sense of scarcity), or because they don’t feel my work provided a great deal of value. That is OK. Please know that there is genuinely no judgement whatever the size of donation. Those who choose to donate nothing or cannot donate anything are equally welcome.
It’s an experiment. It’s an act of faith. Perhaps it won’t work long term? But I have to try. I have lived too long feeling the discomfort of not being true to my heart. But the more I have trusted, the more Life has been kind.
Because this is the kind of world I want to live in.
And as Ghandi said: we need be the change we want to see.